6 Challenges of the Changing Seasons for ADHD (and 3 Steps to Overcome Them)

When it comes to the ways that ADHD affects people’s lives, there are so many parts missing from public knowledge. One of the ways not widely known has to do with changing seasons, particularly when temperatures change and when we move from leisure to work. With the fall comes a plethora of stumbling blocks. Of course many of these are more extreme the further north you go, but any change can throw our unique brain wiring for a loop.

1. Change in Routine

Moving from summer vacation or a summer job back to school, or from a relaxed routine to a more inflexible one can cause overwhelm for anyone. For ADHD, of course, it can be devastating. We are so resistant and resentful of routine and structure that the demands of a new season can impact us hugely.

2. Different Clothing

Where are the hats and coats? Do your boots still fit? Why is this sweater so itchy? From the practical challenge of finding and organizing the clothing needed for cooler weather to the issues of sensory sensitivity, fall can be rife with pitfalls to do with all those extra layers. To say nothing of the extra time it takes to dress, exponentially increased with more and younger children.

3. Sickness

To make matters worse, sickness of varying degrees and types increase when the weather gets cooler. This is just one more thing on our minds, whether trying to avoid catching something or having to perform regular (and already challenging) daily tasks while not feeling well.

4. Light Levels

Depending on where you are on the planet, changing seasons can cause light levels to change at different times. Here in northern North America we are having our sunlight decrease. That, in addition to cloudy days and more clothing, decreases our exposure to the sun and vitamin D. This can cause or exacerbate all kinds of problems.

5. Sitting Around Inside

When temperatures drop it becomes harder to get the exercise that can help everyone and ADHD in particular. All the challenges I’ve already mentioned can contribute to this.

6. Gearing Up for Holidays

In this last third of the calendar year we are faced with many holidays, depending on what we celebrate. Remembering what is needed for each event or even remembering what days affect businesses, if we don’t celebrate them, can be incredibly challenging.

So what can we do in the face of all these things? Not every strategy will work for every person. That being said, I have found the following to be generally helpful principles.

Unable to find the artist for this gorgeous graphic of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Step 1: Back to Basics

Consider Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. When things get overwhelming or fall apart, start at the bottom of the pyramid (food, sleep, hydration) and work your way up. Nobody can perform tasks at their best if they are lacking basic human needs.

Step 2: Importance

When we are considering the demands of an ADHD life, something that stumps us time and again are decisions and prioritization. Not knowing what is top priority can sink us into a miasma of paralysis and despair. Find a way to prioritize the things needing to get done. Do whatever you need to in order to accomplish this. Use a friend as a body double and bounce ideas off them, talk to a counselor or a coach, use an app that works for you.

Step 3: Everything Else

Whatever is leftover from steps 1 and 2 that is still tripping you up, form into a question. For example, if the problem is a particularly picky eater in the family making mealtime stressful and time consuming, the question could be “How can I feed a picky eater nutritiously?” If you suspect the challenge is related to ADHD, try and include that somewhere in the question as solutions for ADHD challenges often look very different to those of different brain types. Google the question with a notebook handy and jot down any and all ideas and information pertinent to your situation. The idea is that nobody can tell you how to fix your problem because they cannot know all the details. So googling the problem and seeing how others handled it can help spark ideas that will help. Always try and keep an open mind. If the results run out of useful information, try rewording the question.

Remember: No one is alone. Every day there are people going through similar problems. By sharing our ideas we generate hope.

What unique challenges do you face as the seasons change?

Spotlight on app: Overdrive

My mother is a great reader and always has been. I've always admired that about her. She taught me a love of words that I tried hard to live up to. I found over and over again, however, that I left books unfinished. That or sped through them in a week, though this was far less frequent. It seemed as though if I wasn't totally in love with a narrative I was unable to finish the book. I reread books I already knew well but this never seemed “good enough” to me. I “should” be able to read book after book, just like Mom.

Then, one day, I shrugged to myself and more or less accepted that this would be the way things were. I wasn't a true reader and that was that. None of us can force ourselves to do things that are against our true natures, I thought to myself. No shame in that.

Recently my mom and sister had been talking about this app, Overdrive. It gives you access to your local library’s collection of ebooks and audiobooks. You borrow them, just like the physical library, and download the audio or text to the app so you have access to them anywhere, even offline.

I downloaded the app thinking I'd use it primarily for audiobooks, possibly for authors I already knew but didn't own a full collection. Boy was I surprised. The app has turned my reading life around. I now have the ability to read whenever and wherever I want to, in those odd in between moments in life when my ADHD gets bored waiting for anything for even a few minutes. I've come to love long lines because that means I get to read and I don't have to worry about the book being damaged as I drag it around with me.

I also discovered something else about myself and another prejudicial thought I was holding about myself. I always felt, though I didn't realize it until recently, that reading a book because you liked the movie was “cheating”. If I really liked a book, I told myself, I “should” be able to enjoy it alone, without the movie. The thing I neglected to take into consideration was the fact that I am very visual, but I have a difficult time with my mind’s eye and imagination. So when I read, others see the Lonely Mountain, Hogwarts Castle, the house with its green gables, but I struggle to see blurs. If I've seen the movie a book is based on, I can then call those images to mind as I read, giving me that visual experience.

If we allow judgments of ourselves to stand, we cut ourselves off from experiences. I strive everyday to tear down those judgments. Self forgiveness will very likely make forgiving others easier as well. Who cares if that person “only” reads comic books? Or doesn't read at all? Or only reads classics? Those judgments only harm.

What is your reading style?

My Google Drive

A lot of us with ADHD have a love of stationery. We accumulate piles of notebooks and planners, drawers of gel pens and scented pencil crayons, and fistfuls of post-its and stickers. That blank, smooth, unblemished first page seems alive with possibilities. Maybe this time, we think to ourselves, this time is the one where I'll finally get it together.  It doesn’t help that some others are telling us to “just make a list”. All we need to do is get another organizer.

Far too often these shiny pages are filled with empty, whispered promises. We end up with a stack of books, the first handful of pages filled and the rest as blank as our hopeless stares at our chaotic lives. This happens because ADHD needs two things that so very often clash. We need structure (something we are singularly poor at providing for ourselves, but extremely adept at resisting from the world) and a system completely customized by us.

One of the ways I've created a custom system for myself is by using Google Drive, Documents, and Sheets. These provide that notebook-like space.

(Note: I've developed a habit of referencing Google Documents on a daily basis. This is not a system that would work for everyone because something based online without a reminder or alarm function would all too easily become out of sight, out of mind.)

Goal and Habit Tracking

Once the task of identifying what goals and habits a person wants to achieve is done, the next step for ADHD is to be able to maintain awareness and progress toward them. I use Google Documents to outline each step toward my goals so I can easily begin work on them as soon as I sit down at my desk. I track my habits by recording when I accomplish the habit and when I don't so I have an accurate idea of what it is I am doing, and how long it's been since I began trying to make something a habit.

Tandem Editing and Collaboration

As an avid writer I have collaborated on a number of projects in the past several years. The comment, sharing, and suggestions features of a Google Documents have enabled me to do this with complete ease. My husband has even used these functions to collaborate internationally.

Manual of Me

While training at the ADD Coach Academy to become a coach, I was taught a truly amazing strategy. Essentially it boils down to recording how you function so you don't have to reinvent the wheel each time a challenge occurs. I use Gdocs for this as well.

Wardrobe Suggestions

When I come up with an outfit I'm really proud of I always fear I will forget about it. So I've started recording either a description or a picture of the outfit in a Google Document database of my clothes. This allows me to skip the time it takes to assemble an outfit each time (which could be anywhere up to 45 minutes if I'm feeling particularly uncertain about my fashion sense).

Search

By using the “Find and Replace” feature any document turns into a searchable database of anything at all. I can instantly find out what to do if I'm feeling anxious, what outfits I've created in the past for a spring day, and what's my next step for my goal of launching my coaching business.

When something is blank, it becomes the perfect template for the ADHD brain to create what it really needs. For that other part, the structure, sometimes we need a few outside ideas. All of the above was inspired by ideas of others, then tweaked to fit me. Always search out what you need and never give up, because there are as many ideas out there as there are people to think them, times the infinity of the Internet. All we need to do is find the right one for each of us.

What do you need in your system?

Harnessing the Shiny

When I was first diagnosed with ADHD one of the things that struck me most forcefully was the concept of choosing new and “shiny” projects. I'd always felt this was something of a character flaw of mine, that if I has real persistence, I'd be able to work on anything, happily. The truth, that the neurochemical dopamine is necessary for anyone to maintain concentration, and it is a challenge to produce or maintain in the ADHD brain, has been something of a comfort and an explanation for me.

The downside being that I was now aware that jumping into a new “shiny” project at the expense of an old, boring one, was sometimes detrimental to me. So, naturally, because I have a very hard time with the cognitive distortion “Black and White thinking”, I decided that this was completely a bad thing. Whenever I decide to go to extremes, the results are never very favourable.

I was talking to a friend a few months ago and we realized we both do this. We decide that because something is fun, we must avoid it in favour of “real work”. Unfortunately the topic at hand was cleaning, which is a very necessary thing!

The trick, as with so many, many things, is to create balance. It doesn't help to continually jump at new things, perpetually abandoning the older, important work. Neither does it do to ignore the treasure-trove of dopamine that comes with jumping at the new project. When something catches our interest, the ADHD brain is able to produce a lot of dopamine, which allows us not only to work at a task, but allows us to work remarkably fast and long. So if we pause, figure out if it is currently appropriate to dive into this new thing, and go ahead if the answer is ‘yes’, time might be saved because of how quickly the work goes.

Another thing I like to do is if that isn't currently possible, just do a small amount of prep or research. This allows me to use the resulting dopamine on my other, more boring project. It also allows me to eliminate projects that just seemed good at the time but those I never go back to after the first initial rush of excitement.

Balance. It is difficult for anyone to attain. With ADHD it is even harder. The longer I strive for it, the more strategies I create and discover. Each time I discover a new strategy, I realize anew that ADHD is truly one of the most treatable of disorders. Everything seems so obvious once explained.

What projects excite you?

A Relationship with Oneself

The word “relationship” has come to mean romantic connections in our culture, generally speaking. We do, however, have many other types of relationships. Family, friends, colleagues, classmates, all different, all varied in their management.

There is one relationship type that I fear we forget, and, if we do remember, neglect. That is the relationship with yourself. Olivia Penpraze said “Remember yourself as a little girl, she is counting on you to protect her.” How many of us give thought or effort to this protection and care?

Many people have “best friends”, people they confide in, rely on for advice, and in whom they have implicit trust. We treat our best friends very well and with a great deal of kindness. We encourage them, help them see their strengths and not dwell on their weaknesses. What contrast might we find if we compare our compassion toward that beloved person and toward ourselves?

An important element in any kind of relationship is trust. Anyone with ADHD can tell you it's very difficult to trust yourself when you are constantly doing things you know aren't helpful or even things you are unable to explain. So how can there be trust in that relationship?

Rewards are another stumbling block. If we promise ourselves a reward for some task and don't deliver it right away, or worse don't deliver it at all, the promise of reward ceases to be at all effective because there is no trust.

It takes time, but it is possible to regain this trust in ourselves. I believe the shape of what will garner this trust will look different for every person. The basic idea to regain trust is to promise something and then, no matter what happens, deliver it. At first, of course, the distrust will remain. Over time, however, the brain can learn that change is, in fact, occurring. What we promise does come to pass.

I wrote a blog post about motivating myself with a movie. The update on that experiment is that I entirely failed to reward myself with the movie. I lost faith in myself through that. This would not have happened if I had watched the movie. It seems a small price to pay.

Nothing is perfect, obviously, and of course sometimes life will prevent us from following through on things. The idea is to be as consistent as possible, and not give into the inner-nay-sayer and decide, after the fact, that we don't actually deserve that reward after all.

How is your relationship with yourself?

Why I Gave Up Advice

Any time we have a problem there are always scads of people lining up to give us advice on how to solve it. Even if we didn't ask, even if we don't even really agree we have a problem, even if we are really quite happy, thank you very much, and really do not understand what the supposed problem is. Nevertheless, there is no shortage of advice.

When I went through ADHD coach training, I came to realize just how useless this practice really is. I know from personal experience that this unsolicited advice can range from mildly irritating to downright harmful, in certain instances.

I believe one reason it is so pointless is that any one of us cannot possibly fully grasp the experience of another. However well we know that other person, there is no way we can completely know what is in their head and heart. Therefore, any solution we come up with for their problem has a random chance of being useful because it came out of our own experience, not theirs.

In coaching, I strive to assist in clarifying, as fully as possible, all the facets and features of any given challenge. This can allow the person facing the challenge to create their own solution, making it as unique as they are. And this solution is almost always far more effective than any suggestion of anyone else’s (even mine) because it originated in the person who truly knows best.

An exception, naturally, is the topic of ADHD and its various symptoms. When it comes to working with our ADHD, a lot of us feel helpless and struggling in vain to find anything that will work. In these instances seeking the advice of a book on ADHD, a resource website such as TotallyADD.com, or a trained ADHD coach can be very valuable. However even these proffered strategies will increase in value once they are tailored and tweaked to fit the unique ADHD life.

So this is why I decided I would cease giving unsolicited advice, to anyone, not just my clients. I was wasting my breath and possibly annoying the person I intended to help.

And then a very unexpected thing happened. As soon as I made this promise to myself, friends and family started asking for my advice on specific topics. It was like the universe was having a great chuckle at my expense. And what can you really do at that point? So I laughed along.

One person asked me how I personally handle a specific situation, and I said “Do you mean in a practical sense or an emotional sense?” They told me that question was far more valuable than any of the advice that followed because it helped them explore their own conundrum further. Also the question beginning “How do you handle...” is particularly good for advice because it allows the other to simply consider and learn without there being any implication that it will definitely be helpful or relevant.

Then of course there are those verbal processors. What we need more than anything when facing a challenge is the time to get our thoughts from inside our brains, out our mouths, and to the world. Matt Smith’s Doctor Who once said “I don't know what the plan is yet; I haven't stopped talking.”

What advice do you give?

The Double Agent of ADHD

The very first thing a lot of people learn about ADHD, even if they remain fixed on fiction of “just boys with ants in their pants”, is the short attention span. This is of course more complex than even the name Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder suggests, but the simple fact that there are very few and specific things someone with ADHD can easily focus their long-term attention on is very real and very impactful. It can be our saving grace or, much more often, our downfall.

The word “routine”, noun, means ‘a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program’. In other words a bunch of things, sometimes that you have to do, repeated over and over again. When applied to ADHD, this can trigger multiple symptoms, such as difficulty with transition, resistance to repetition, simple boredom, memory problems, time blindness, difficulty with decision making, difficulty creating and maintaining structure for oneself, and the idea that creative people must live in chaos or betray their artistic soul. The idea of embracing something so downright painful is incredibly hard for the ADHD brain to comprehend.

To me, as a person with lifelong ADHD, routine seemed to be something that happened to other people. I didn’t even have school to give my life structure until I started training as an ADHD coach. After my diagnosis, I began slowly scooping my life into a more comfortable and workable shape. Many things began to emerge that stood the test of time as being very helpful to me. But when I tried to get every one of them done in a day, I would get distracted between each item, and a list I assumed would take others less than an hour took me half or three quarters of the day.

Over years I tried to tweak, alter, and change things until I now have what I proudly call a morning and evening “routine”. It is a list of things that all, in one way or another, form the foundation of my life. They allow me to accomplish everything from maintaining friendships, to housework, to the two businesses I run, to assisting family in times of crisis and celebrating with them in times of joy. I cannot overstate how essential they are to me.

An excellent example is something that happened just this week. Even though I’ve been working on myself and my life since my diagnosis almost 8 years ago, a real, solid, regularly followed routine is a relatively new thing, at least in its current, and historically most useful, iteration. I woke up feeling very low and because, for ADHD, emotion is reality, it was very hard for me to imagine that anything could help lift me. I knew, however, that my morning routine was very beneficial to me, so I started it.

Throughout the process, which takes me between an hour and 90 minutes, I realized my mood turned completely around. I felt content, happy, even energetic. I attribute this to the comforting nature of the familiar flow of tasks, the knowledge that I was accomplishing something important, and the soothing transition ritual and dopamine creation strategy I have in place.

In order to circumvent the list of symptoms of ADHD I’ve listed above that interfere with my ability to accomplish daily routines, I have four major ‘fierce systems’ in place:

The first is headphones playing something I really like (Netflix, YouTube, music, or podcast) to keep my interest focused, allow for easier transition between tasks, and production of low-level dopamine. The second is an agreement I’ve come to with my family that if they see me with both headphones in my ears, they are to refrain from talking to me so I don’t become distracted from my routine. The third is a stopwatch I use for recording how long the routine takes me every morning. This is like a game, or a race against myself, seeing how efficient I can be, and helps produce more dopamine. The final system is, of course, that each routine (every day of the week has slightly different tasks) is recorded as a list in a phone reminder.

This is what I have to do in order to keep my life running smoothly, with the double agent that is routine, in an ADHD brain. When I imagine how other people, who have brains untroubled by these things, glide smoothly through their lives, without a second or even first thought to structure, routine, or dopamine, I have to admit to feeling jealous. That being said, I have proven to myself that I can overcome challenges of neurobiology and work with the very nature of who I am. All, I might add, without the benefit of medication or coffee. That is something of which I am very proud.

What role does routine play in your life?

Relatable ADHD

First of a two-part series.

There are many people who claim that the mental condition known as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder does not exist. I do not argue with these people because it is seldom useful to do so. Instead I try and find some common ground with them.

A phenomenon I find fascinating that was brought about (I’m assuming) by the internet, is known as “TFW” which is an acronym standing for “that feeling when”. It is followed by some event or experience that the person hopes others share. Another title is “so relatable”. I say it is likely the advent of the internet that brought this into existence because I don’t know if people shared things like this before Facebook and Twitter. At least not as widely.

I’ve seen many posts along these lines and empathized with a lot of them. None so much as the ones I share below which I associate with my ADHD brain. It doesn’t really matter, in the end, if it is ADHD or not. If one were to view it in that light, however, one might gain insight into the prevalence of individuals currently struggling with symptoms ADHD treatment is designed to ease.

A lot of people with ADHD have this stubborn streak about them. Combined with a need to have everything they do be their own idea, and never, ever follow The Instructions, you end up with this post. As far as I know, it is not properly understood why this happens, but just try and tell someone with ADHD what to do and let me know how it goes.

Being proactive is a good way to combat this. Asking what they need to do before it is asked of them. When the ADHD brain feels in control, like it was their idea, they can avoid this feeling.

This post also mentions the phenomenon of the post above, but goes a bit further. Pressure is a highly delicate and sensitive thing for ADHD. If there isn’t enough we find it difficult to engage our brains (such as a deadline of “whenever you get around to it”) and if there is too much we simply shut down entirely (such as an imminent deadline of dire consequences). The feeling of an empty house is a welcome release from the pressure of other people’s expectations and allows ADHD to thrive on the novelty of self-direction. Being left to their own devices too long results in the vacuum of pressure that also precludes productivity.

The real trick is to come to a balance of input and/or accountability from trusted loved ones and the freedom of self-direction. On a day when I knew I wanted to clean I posted on Facebook about that intention and asked my friends to text me around supper time asking about it. The idea to clean was mine and the fact that I knew others would be asking helped to motivate without overloading me with pressure.

Stubbornness once more rears its head. This might even be viewed as Oppositional Defiance Disorder which has a 50% comorbidity diagnosed with ADHD in children. People with ADHD can defy instructions, even to the detriment of others and themselves. When emotions overwhelm the human brain we can lose the ability to access our centers of reason and logic. Known as an “Amygdala hijack” this can happen to almost everyone, ADHD or otherwise, but can be more common with ADHD because our emotions are so much more intense and harder to control. This can make it difficult or impossible to rationally decide what action on our part will result in the best outcome. A qualified professional can, in many cases, assist with processing strong emotions such as anger.

The effort involved in even the simplest tasks of day-to-day living is enormous for ADHD (especially before diagnosis and treatment). Accomplishing 1 item on a to do list can take a lot of energy, especially if, as is very common, the individual has made a list that cannot possibly be finished in the allotted time. Being unable to accurately predict how long any given task will take is another facet of time blindness that is also associated with ADHD.

Breaking down a to do list into smaller chunks is one strategy. Instead of “clean my room” instead consider “make bed”, then “pick up only clothes”, then “clear desk”. This can also help to more accurately predict the length of time needed for the work.

They say “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.” This doesn’t always hold true with ADHD. A lot of us are very anxious to please and make the people around us happy. We have a hard time saying “no” even when we know we cannot take on anymore work. This means we over-promise and under-deliver, causing us to feel badly about ourselves and tarnishing our reputations at work, with family, and in social groups.

I perpetually try to reverse that harmful tendency. I under-promise in order to over-deliver. Whatever deadline I think I can meet I usually double, just to be safe. If the task or project has no deadline I make it clear to the other person that I will do my best to get at it but that it may take some time. Nine times out of ten the other person will be happier to have the project delivered before the longer deadline than after the shorter one. If someone appears unhappy about the time, an explanation of the reasoning can show the goodwill and ease any concerns. “I have ADHD, so to make sure I don’t blow past a 1 week deadline, I’ve told you 2 weeks, and you’ll probably get it in ten days, but I don’t want to promise something and then fail to deliver.”

ADHD can remain disguised for many years by circumstance and coping mechanisms created to hide abnormality. There has been a spike in middle-aged individuals being diagnosed alongside their children because they looked at the list of symptoms and said “Wait... Everyone isn’t like this?” A lot of people with ADHD manage more or less effectively until a sudden increase in responsibility or a crisis throws them into chaos. Common events are entering grade 9, beginning college or university, moving out of parents’ house, or starting a family.

ADHD is one of the most treatable mental disorders. There are many resources and professionals available to help anyone curious about everything from diagnosis criteria to medication to nutritional treatments. When someone is living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD they may feel as though they are lazy, stupid, and crazy. This is not the case and there is always, always hope.

Small Bits of Happiness

There are so many theories on happiness. Just so incredibly many. I tend to go with the ones backed by science and my own experience.

Small amounts of happiness spread out over time are considerably more beneficial to mental health than large amounts of happiness once in awhile. This seems like common sense, since it was presented to me in that way. Though, like so many things, it is way easier said than done.

I think this is partly because of what our culture finds “acceptable” in terms of self-care. Vacations are a generally accepted form of self-care, and those are usually big, and infrequent. Self-care that happens often can often be viewed, erroneously, as selfish and outside of what is needed.

One way to assist with increasing these little pieces of happiness is to schedule self-care into your day/week.

Another is to insert it in other creative ways.

I love receiving messages first thing when I wake up. I subscribed to Notes from the Universe for this reason. And if you’re like me, you probably have a 99+ Watch Later YouTube playlist. I decided to combine these things.

Through the automated text service Remindr you can send yourself emails (as well as texts/calls) at certain times. Copy the link to a video from the Watch Later playlist into an email, one per day/weekday, and watch the video when it arrives in the morning. Laughter is a great way to give that little boost of energy needed to pop out of bed. Just make sure you’re not at work if you have NSFW videos in the playlist.

The other great thing about this strategy is I completely forget what’s in those emails by the time they arrive so it’s like a little lottery of novelty in my day. Novelty is fantastic for ADHD because it helps us produce dopamine.

What small bits of happiness can you accumulate?