Routine Versus Spontaneity

The words “routine” and “spontaneity” seem to be antonyms. What could be more opposite than “a sequence of actions regularly followed” and “a sudden inner impulse without premeditation”? To me, however, they are not as dissimilar as they first appear.

I have already written about the role routine plays in my life and the benefits I, and others with ADHD, gain when utilising it. Another benefit is that of freeing me to live in the moment. My routines are the foundation on which I build my life. The “sequence of actions” that make up my routines all contribute in some small but fundamental way to me being able to function, whether at all or optimally. If my bed isn’t made, my dishes washed, my clothes clean and put away, I would not be able to act on any “inner impulse”.

This paradox can be likened to a building. It’s a lot more fun to pick out curtains and paint the trim than it is to plan the basement and hammer together the studs and joists for the walls and floors. However, curtains and trim in the middle of an empty lot gets cold and wet, eventually, and does not allow anyone to have much fun.

Balance, as I’ve said again and again, seems to be the key. Routine allows for spontaneity but neither in isolation create joy. This is the careful union of forces I will continue to strive to achieve.

What allows you to create spontaneous joy?

6 Challenges of the Changing Seasons for ADHD (and 3 Steps to Overcome Them)

When it comes to the ways that ADHD affects people’s lives, there are so many parts missing from public knowledge. One of the ways not widely known has to do with changing seasons, particularly when temperatures change and when we move from leisure to work. With the fall comes a plethora of stumbling blocks. Of course many of these are more extreme the further north you go, but any change can throw our unique brain wiring for a loop.

1. Change in Routine

Moving from summer vacation or a summer job back to school, or from a relaxed routine to a more inflexible one can cause overwhelm for anyone. For ADHD, of course, it can be devastating. We are so resistant and resentful of routine and structure that the demands of a new season can impact us hugely.

2. Different Clothing

Where are the hats and coats? Do your boots still fit? Why is this sweater so itchy? From the practical challenge of finding and organizing the clothing needed for cooler weather to the issues of sensory sensitivity, fall can be rife with pitfalls to do with all those extra layers. To say nothing of the extra time it takes to dress, exponentially increased with more and younger children.

3. Sickness

To make matters worse, sickness of varying degrees and types increase when the weather gets cooler. This is just one more thing on our minds, whether trying to avoid catching something or having to perform regular (and already challenging) daily tasks while not feeling well.

4. Light Levels

Depending on where you are on the planet, changing seasons can cause light levels to change at different times. Here in northern North America we are having our sunlight decrease. That, in addition to cloudy days and more clothing, decreases our exposure to the sun and vitamin D. This can cause or exacerbate all kinds of problems.

5. Sitting Around Inside

When temperatures drop it becomes harder to get the exercise that can help everyone and ADHD in particular. All the challenges I’ve already mentioned can contribute to this.

6. Gearing Up for Holidays

In this last third of the calendar year we are faced with many holidays, depending on what we celebrate. Remembering what is needed for each event or even remembering what days affect businesses, if we don’t celebrate them, can be incredibly challenging.

So what can we do in the face of all these things? Not every strategy will work for every person. That being said, I have found the following to be generally helpful principles.

Unable to find the artist for this gorgeous graphic of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Step 1: Back to Basics

Consider Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. When things get overwhelming or fall apart, start at the bottom of the pyramid (food, sleep, hydration) and work your way up. Nobody can perform tasks at their best if they are lacking basic human needs.

Step 2: Importance

When we are considering the demands of an ADHD life, something that stumps us time and again are decisions and prioritization. Not knowing what is top priority can sink us into a miasma of paralysis and despair. Find a way to prioritize the things needing to get done. Do whatever you need to in order to accomplish this. Use a friend as a body double and bounce ideas off them, talk to a counselor or a coach, use an app that works for you.

Step 3: Everything Else

Whatever is leftover from steps 1 and 2 that is still tripping you up, form into a question. For example, if the problem is a particularly picky eater in the family making mealtime stressful and time consuming, the question could be “How can I feed a picky eater nutritiously?” If you suspect the challenge is related to ADHD, try and include that somewhere in the question as solutions for ADHD challenges often look very different to those of different brain types. Google the question with a notebook handy and jot down any and all ideas and information pertinent to your situation. The idea is that nobody can tell you how to fix your problem because they cannot know all the details. So googling the problem and seeing how others handled it can help spark ideas that will help. Always try and keep an open mind. If the results run out of useful information, try rewording the question.

Remember: No one is alone. Every day there are people going through similar problems. By sharing our ideas we generate hope.

What unique challenges do you face as the seasons change?

The Double Agent of ADHD

The very first thing a lot of people learn about ADHD, even if they remain fixed on fiction of “just boys with ants in their pants”, is the short attention span. This is of course more complex than even the name Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder suggests, but the simple fact that there are very few and specific things someone with ADHD can easily focus their long-term attention on is very real and very impactful. It can be our saving grace or, much more often, our downfall.

The word “routine”, noun, means ‘a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program’. In other words a bunch of things, sometimes that you have to do, repeated over and over again. When applied to ADHD, this can trigger multiple symptoms, such as difficulty with transition, resistance to repetition, simple boredom, memory problems, time blindness, difficulty with decision making, difficulty creating and maintaining structure for oneself, and the idea that creative people must live in chaos or betray their artistic soul. The idea of embracing something so downright painful is incredibly hard for the ADHD brain to comprehend.

To me, as a person with lifelong ADHD, routine seemed to be something that happened to other people. I didn’t even have school to give my life structure until I started training as an ADHD coach. After my diagnosis, I began slowly scooping my life into a more comfortable and workable shape. Many things began to emerge that stood the test of time as being very helpful to me. But when I tried to get every one of them done in a day, I would get distracted between each item, and a list I assumed would take others less than an hour took me half or three quarters of the day.

Over years I tried to tweak, alter, and change things until I now have what I proudly call a morning and evening “routine”. It is a list of things that all, in one way or another, form the foundation of my life. They allow me to accomplish everything from maintaining friendships, to housework, to the two businesses I run, to assisting family in times of crisis and celebrating with them in times of joy. I cannot overstate how essential they are to me.

An excellent example is something that happened just this week. Even though I’ve been working on myself and my life since my diagnosis almost 8 years ago, a real, solid, regularly followed routine is a relatively new thing, at least in its current, and historically most useful, iteration. I woke up feeling very low and because, for ADHD, emotion is reality, it was very hard for me to imagine that anything could help lift me. I knew, however, that my morning routine was very beneficial to me, so I started it.

Throughout the process, which takes me between an hour and 90 minutes, I realized my mood turned completely around. I felt content, happy, even energetic. I attribute this to the comforting nature of the familiar flow of tasks, the knowledge that I was accomplishing something important, and the soothing transition ritual and dopamine creation strategy I have in place.

In order to circumvent the list of symptoms of ADHD I’ve listed above that interfere with my ability to accomplish daily routines, I have four major ‘fierce systems’ in place:

The first is headphones playing something I really like (Netflix, YouTube, music, or podcast) to keep my interest focused, allow for easier transition between tasks, and production of low-level dopamine. The second is an agreement I’ve come to with my family that if they see me with both headphones in my ears, they are to refrain from talking to me so I don’t become distracted from my routine. The third is a stopwatch I use for recording how long the routine takes me every morning. This is like a game, or a race against myself, seeing how efficient I can be, and helps produce more dopamine. The final system is, of course, that each routine (every day of the week has slightly different tasks) is recorded as a list in a phone reminder.

This is what I have to do in order to keep my life running smoothly, with the double agent that is routine, in an ADHD brain. When I imagine how other people, who have brains untroubled by these things, glide smoothly through their lives, without a second or even first thought to structure, routine, or dopamine, I have to admit to feeling jealous. That being said, I have proven to myself that I can overcome challenges of neurobiology and work with the very nature of who I am. All, I might add, without the benefit of medication or coffee. That is something of which I am very proud.

What role does routine play in your life?