5 Ways I've Made Meditation Realistic and Accessible (for my ADHD)

A ton of people have been saying a ton of great things about meditation, for thousands of years, recently, and with reference to mental health. It all sounded great to me, in theory, but I shrugged it off because I have ADHD and I felt my energy was better spent on things that were a more logical fit for my brain type.

As I began to get solid handles on many of my more crippling issues, I decided to give it the good old college try, mostly so I could prove that it was not a good fit for me. This stubborn “you can't tell me how to be happy” streak is one I've seen over and over again in my fellow ADHD brains.

I've never been on a mood-stabilizer, so I don't know what it feels like, but “stabilized mood” literally are the main effects I noticed from my first experiments with regular meditation. It genuinely feels like my mood has fewer sharp spikes, if it were represented by a graph. Although I have heard people talk about medications like mood stabilizers and antidepressants reducing their positive emotions as well, meditation did not do this to me. On the contrary, it has enabled me to engage deeply in the scattered fragments of joy hidden by the dark clouds of irritability, anxiety, and depression.

Here are 5 ways I made meditation accessible and realistic for me.

1. It was for me

Although the strategy I used to begin the experiment was accountability, I decided to meditate for myself, not because someone else told me to. The first time I heard about meditation being helpful for mental health wasn't the right time to start, nor was the second. The time I started was the right time. I wish I'd started a long time ago, but that doesn't matter. I started when I started.

2. Fully accept my thoughts

Instead of fighting my thoughts and being angry at them for interrupting my meditating, I've learned to notice when I'm engaging with them, accept that this is part of meditation, and move on. Two things have particularly helped me to do this:

1. The first is the description of meditation I heard at my ADHD support group. “Think of meditating like a workout for your brain. Each time you bring your focus back to wherever you intend it to be, that's a ‘rep’.” This makes me feel like the thoughts are actually helpful, because they are what allow me to perform that mental ‘rep’.

2. The second thing is keeping the note page of my phone open in my lap. There are some thoughts I don't want to float away forever, so I open my eyes, write the idea down, and go back to meditating. This has been incredibly helpful because I'm not trying to simultaneously focus on my breath and hold on to the ideas I want to remember until I can record them.

Some of my best ideas come to me when I'm meditating and I think this is because I'm open and unfocused, allowing things I'd never think of when I was carrying around my beliefs to emerge.

3. I did it myyyyyyy waaaaaaaaaay...!

I've heard that the “best” form of meditation is silent, with no movement. The study I read (and now cannot locate) show this builds the most grey matter in the brain. Part of me wants to do this, because if I'm going to do it I'd better be getting the maximum benefit possible for my efforts. I know myself well enough to veto this however, because if I don't meditate in the “easiest” and most comfortable way for me, I will stop doing it. Science agrees with me here and says while there are different “degrees” of effectiveness for various methods of meditation, any amount is more beneficial than none. So I recline, feet on my desk, with a specific track of music on, and my focus on my breathing. My way might be "imperfect" but it allows me to be consistent.

4. Fidget

Lately I've been getting super into the fidget to focus method of ADHD management. I've found that a fidget toy is an excellent focus for meditation. It can give something physically tangible to pull my attention back to.

5. Limit interruptions

Once I'm in “the zone”, one of the biggest irritants are interruptions. It took me all this effort to get here and now something else dares to ask for my attention?! I turn my phone to “do not disturb” and my smartwatch on “quiet time” before settling down to meditate. Luckily my only housemate knows I'm meditating and has never interrupted me, but if I were in circumstances where this were not so, I would inform anyone who might need my attention and/or remove myself to a private room.

For more information from an ADHD perspective on meditation, this video.

What would make it easy for you to meditate regularly?

Harnessing the Shiny

When I was first diagnosed with ADHD one of the things that struck me most forcefully was the concept of choosing new and “shiny” projects. I'd always felt this was something of a character flaw of mine, that if I has real persistence, I'd be able to work on anything, happily. The truth, that the neurochemical dopamine is necessary for anyone to maintain concentration, and it is a challenge to produce or maintain in the ADHD brain, has been something of a comfort and an explanation for me.

The downside being that I was now aware that jumping into a new “shiny” project at the expense of an old, boring one, was sometimes detrimental to me. So, naturally, because I have a very hard time with the cognitive distortion “Black and White thinking”, I decided that this was completely a bad thing. Whenever I decide to go to extremes, the results are never very favourable.

I was talking to a friend a few months ago and we realized we both do this. We decide that because something is fun, we must avoid it in favour of “real work”. Unfortunately the topic at hand was cleaning, which is a very necessary thing!

The trick, as with so many, many things, is to create balance. It doesn't help to continually jump at new things, perpetually abandoning the older, important work. Neither does it do to ignore the treasure-trove of dopamine that comes with jumping at the new project. When something catches our interest, the ADHD brain is able to produce a lot of dopamine, which allows us not only to work at a task, but allows us to work remarkably fast and long. So if we pause, figure out if it is currently appropriate to dive into this new thing, and go ahead if the answer is ‘yes’, time might be saved because of how quickly the work goes.

Another thing I like to do is if that isn't currently possible, just do a small amount of prep or research. This allows me to use the resulting dopamine on my other, more boring project. It also allows me to eliminate projects that just seemed good at the time but those I never go back to after the first initial rush of excitement.

Balance. It is difficult for anyone to attain. With ADHD it is even harder. The longer I strive for it, the more strategies I create and discover. Each time I discover a new strategy, I realize anew that ADHD is truly one of the most treatable of disorders. Everything seems so obvious once explained.

What projects excite you?

The Double Agent of ADHD

The very first thing a lot of people learn about ADHD, even if they remain fixed on fiction of “just boys with ants in their pants”, is the short attention span. This is of course more complex than even the name Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder suggests, but the simple fact that there are very few and specific things someone with ADHD can easily focus their long-term attention on is very real and very impactful. It can be our saving grace or, much more often, our downfall.

The word “routine”, noun, means ‘a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program’. In other words a bunch of things, sometimes that you have to do, repeated over and over again. When applied to ADHD, this can trigger multiple symptoms, such as difficulty with transition, resistance to repetition, simple boredom, memory problems, time blindness, difficulty with decision making, difficulty creating and maintaining structure for oneself, and the idea that creative people must live in chaos or betray their artistic soul. The idea of embracing something so downright painful is incredibly hard for the ADHD brain to comprehend.

To me, as a person with lifelong ADHD, routine seemed to be something that happened to other people. I didn’t even have school to give my life structure until I started training as an ADHD coach. After my diagnosis, I began slowly scooping my life into a more comfortable and workable shape. Many things began to emerge that stood the test of time as being very helpful to me. But when I tried to get every one of them done in a day, I would get distracted between each item, and a list I assumed would take others less than an hour took me half or three quarters of the day.

Over years I tried to tweak, alter, and change things until I now have what I proudly call a morning and evening “routine”. It is a list of things that all, in one way or another, form the foundation of my life. They allow me to accomplish everything from maintaining friendships, to housework, to the two businesses I run, to assisting family in times of crisis and celebrating with them in times of joy. I cannot overstate how essential they are to me.

An excellent example is something that happened just this week. Even though I’ve been working on myself and my life since my diagnosis almost 8 years ago, a real, solid, regularly followed routine is a relatively new thing, at least in its current, and historically most useful, iteration. I woke up feeling very low and because, for ADHD, emotion is reality, it was very hard for me to imagine that anything could help lift me. I knew, however, that my morning routine was very beneficial to me, so I started it.

Throughout the process, which takes me between an hour and 90 minutes, I realized my mood turned completely around. I felt content, happy, even energetic. I attribute this to the comforting nature of the familiar flow of tasks, the knowledge that I was accomplishing something important, and the soothing transition ritual and dopamine creation strategy I have in place.

In order to circumvent the list of symptoms of ADHD I’ve listed above that interfere with my ability to accomplish daily routines, I have four major ‘fierce systems’ in place:

The first is headphones playing something I really like (Netflix, YouTube, music, or podcast) to keep my interest focused, allow for easier transition between tasks, and production of low-level dopamine. The second is an agreement I’ve come to with my family that if they see me with both headphones in my ears, they are to refrain from talking to me so I don’t become distracted from my routine. The third is a stopwatch I use for recording how long the routine takes me every morning. This is like a game, or a race against myself, seeing how efficient I can be, and helps produce more dopamine. The final system is, of course, that each routine (every day of the week has slightly different tasks) is recorded as a list in a phone reminder.

This is what I have to do in order to keep my life running smoothly, with the double agent that is routine, in an ADHD brain. When I imagine how other people, who have brains untroubled by these things, glide smoothly through their lives, without a second or even first thought to structure, routine, or dopamine, I have to admit to feeling jealous. That being said, I have proven to myself that I can overcome challenges of neurobiology and work with the very nature of who I am. All, I might add, without the benefit of medication or coffee. That is something of which I am very proud.

What role does routine play in your life?

Small Bits of Happiness

There are so many theories on happiness. Just so incredibly many. I tend to go with the ones backed by science and my own experience.

Small amounts of happiness spread out over time are considerably more beneficial to mental health than large amounts of happiness once in awhile. This seems like common sense, since it was presented to me in that way. Though, like so many things, it is way easier said than done.

I think this is partly because of what our culture finds “acceptable” in terms of self-care. Vacations are a generally accepted form of self-care, and those are usually big, and infrequent. Self-care that happens often can often be viewed, erroneously, as selfish and outside of what is needed.

One way to assist with increasing these little pieces of happiness is to schedule self-care into your day/week.

Another is to insert it in other creative ways.

I love receiving messages first thing when I wake up. I subscribed to Notes from the Universe for this reason. And if you’re like me, you probably have a 99+ Watch Later YouTube playlist. I decided to combine these things.

Through the automated text service Remindr you can send yourself emails (as well as texts/calls) at certain times. Copy the link to a video from the Watch Later playlist into an email, one per day/weekday, and watch the video when it arrives in the morning. Laughter is a great way to give that little boost of energy needed to pop out of bed. Just make sure you’re not at work if you have NSFW videos in the playlist.

The other great thing about this strategy is I completely forget what’s in those emails by the time they arrive so it’s like a little lottery of novelty in my day. Novelty is fantastic for ADHD because it helps us produce dopamine.

What small bits of happiness can you accumulate?

App Spotlight: Remindr

A lot of people with ADHD find conventional organizational systems unhelpful at best. This circumstance isn’t helped by the judgement we feel when we reject these systems. After all, ‘everyone else’ has no problem with it.

The best system I’ve found is to simply accept that we are different, that when it comes to a lot of things, we have to make our own systems. Sometimes this includes a few layers. For example, my memory requires three layers: I use Alarmed for most things, the proprietary Apple alarm app for other things, and for another few, I use Remindr.

Remindr has an Apple-only app (sorry Android users), but it is primarily a web-based service, so anyone can use it. You enter a message for yourself into the online dashboard, select the date, time, frequency of repeat, and mode of delivery. It will text message, email, and/or send you an automated call.

In addition to nuts and bolts reminders, I decided to put Remindr to a more whimsical use. I combed the internet for positive affirmations and entered one for every day of the month. Some days the words were exactly what I needed to hear. It’s like encouragement from me to me.

What layers does your organizational system have?

The Paradox of Accumulative Action

There is a well-known strategy for accomplishing a large task that was first explained to me by the FlyLady. Marla’s essential concept is 15 minutes of decluttering a day piles up over time until before you know it your home is under control. It has many more nuances and helpful layers than that, but that is the core principle.

I have put this into practice in my own life in many ways. Decluttering is one (though I must confess most of my decluttering happens in large, unintentionally overwhelming chunks), knitting is another, and working on goals one step per day. Another way is the restocking list that we use at Ringcrafts to slowly recreate products sold to customers for our next show.

The most fascinating thing about the 15-minutes-a-day principle to me is its paradoxical counterpart. Just as 15 minutes can accumulate to accomplish great things, so can small, inconsequential things wear a human mind down to the point where they are wallowing in a pit, with no idea how they got there.

A critical comment isn't that hard to deal with, for most of us. Or being late for an appointment, once. Or breaking a plate. Or losing your keys. Or hearing of the death of a favourite actor. Or having to cancel time of relaxation in favour of work. All of these things on their own are not noticeably detrimental, in the natural course of things.

What if they all added up? Little things, over time, just poking at us, draining little bits of our energy, wearing down our ability to function. It happens. It happens to everyone, at one time or another. And then what happens if something really huge hits us? What's left in reserve to bring to bear on the new problem?

The one half of this paradox is the other's solution. It does take effort, though, to consciously decide to take that 15 minutes per day for ourselves, to do whatever it is that recharges our ability to function properly. And it takes courage to be honest with ourselves about what that is.

Are you ready for that challenge?

App Spotlight: Alarmed by Yoctoville

I've told a lot of people about the reminder and timer app Alarmed. I've been using it every single day for almost two years and I can't imagine life without it.

A handful of years ago I learned that ADHD individuals have terrible memories. The advice to counteract this was if you ever find yourself thinking "Oh I'll remember that..." don't, under any circumstances, trust it. Always, always, always, write it down.

I took this advice to heart and began using the proprietary Apple reminders app 'Reminders'. It worked well. I began doing things, such as chores, more consistently, and I had a reliable place to record any requests made of me. It even made planning my wedding smoother.

The only drawback of the app (for my needs) was the set time intervals. Daily, weekly, every two weeks, monthly, and yearly.* I needed more flexibility.

I went looking for an app that would better meet my needs. A few pages into the search results (there are a lot of reminder apps out there) I found Alarmed, now called Alarmed ~ Reminders + Timers by Yoctoville. I downloaded it for free and began a road test.

It was a game changer and I cannot honestly say whether I would have continued using a reminder app if not for this program. Not only did it provide the flexibility in time intervals I needed, but it has a slew of other features that have come in incredibly handy.

One such ingenious aspect is the NagMe! feature. You can set the reminder to sound off repeatedly, until you interact with the app. This has proved invaluable for medication, public transport, and many other things.

Alarmed has recently received a complete overhaul for iOS 9. My iPhone 4S can't handle the newest software so I am sadly ignorant of all the new features. I'm certain however that the app continues to deliver nothing but the best.

I have only ever had one very minor glitch on this app, and that was from a time when I had kept the app open continuously for months on end. I now close it once a week and have not had any more trouble. I store an enormous amount of data in the app, and yet it does not crash and the reminders are never corrupted or incorrect or fail to activate.

From my experience, the app is user friendly. I am, however, aware that 'user friendly' is a very subjective term. The app includes a comprehensive operations manual, along with a FAQ page. The DayMinder feature is a bit complex, but incredibly useful once you get to know it.

The app is free to download, and offers a few additional features and sounds for an in-app purchase. In my opinion, the features are completely worth it, especially to support an individual attempting to live their dream of self-sustaining through ingenuity.

Unfortunately, the app is not available for Android.

The one complaint I had about this app was the lack of lists, and it looks like in the iOS 9 update that has been fixed. Also, the app now has categories you can apply to your reminders.

So, all in all, a truly amazing app for this ADHD brain. If you suffer from a poor memory, like me, this app might be just what you need.

*Footnote: Apple has since updated the app in, iOS 9, to include custom repeat intervals.