An Exploration of Need Versus Want

People often say “I need this” and that is perfectly valid. Every human being has many needs. Those needs may be difficult to define, articulate, and get met, but they exist.

Do we ever stop to question what it is we need those things to do? This is why another way I define the concept of “need”, as opposed to want, is the word “required”. In order to ski, a strong argument can be made that a person needs skis. They may want expensive skis, they may have an easier time skiing with a certain type of ski, and they may not even want to ski at all, but they definitely need skis in order to ski.

So when we say “I need this”, I would want to examine that. The examination might allow us to determine if that desire is a need or a want.

I often say “I need sleep”. That's a vague idea. What I really mean is “I need to have high quality sleep, for approximately nine hours, beginning at 10PM in order to be most productive in life.” So, logically, if I wasn't aiming to be productive, I wouldn't have this need. This need is in aid of productivity. I want to be productive because I need to financially support myself. For that goal I need to be productive enough to sustain the amount of work that allows for a supporting income.

I believe this is a lot of what coaches do. They look for the wheat germ of the goals and needs and assist in separating it from the chaff of everything else in life. In order to help determine what is a need versus a want, it can help to first know what it is you need that thing to accomplish.

What do you need?

16 Ways Technology Helps (Me)

The definition of ‘tech shaming’ as I understand it is “To make someone ashamed of using technology, especially smartphones, portable music devices, or tablets.” The fear behind this largely unintentional practice is, I can only surmise, that use of such technology will be detrimental to the lives of those using it. I believe the use of shame to change behavior isn’t a good way to build or maintain a healthy relationship with anyone. Even, or perhaps especially, a relationship with yourself.

Whenever this concept comes into my awareness and thoughts I always think of the many, many ways technology allows me to do things I wouldn’t otherwise be able to do. Here is a list of just some of them.

1. Reading

The first way that jumped to my mind is the app Overdrive. That app is nothing short of a miracle for me.

2. Drive safer

Once driving became commonplace for me, my brain began to feel bored by the task. As a result, my mind wanders in search of something to occupy it. This is of course hazardous when operating a 2,800 pound piece of metal. So on long drives I started listening to podcasts. The engagement is just enough to keep me from being bored, but not so complex that I lose focus on the road. I play them from my phone through the car’s sound system so my headphones don’t interfere with my driving awareness. I’m sure my life would have been in danger if not for Welcome to Nightvale or The Benchcast.

3. Remember important things

Of course I don’t need to mention it yet again, but my reminder app.

4. Maintain long-distance friendships

For a long while I didn’t have text messaging to the United States and so my only contact with my American friends was via iMessage. Sometimes friends who share our interests don’t share our citizenship. How much emptier my life would be without those people and the technology that allows their warmth into my life.

5. Make cleaning fun!

Other things my ADHD dislikes doing separately are socializing and cleaning. Handsfree phone accessories allows me to do both at once. I once cleaned the entire house between two calls to England.

6. Stay accountable

A very effective productivity strategy for ADHD is accountability with friends. Many times I have engaged in a mutual accountability agreement with a friend or classmate via a facebook group.

7. Organize family

Recently my mother came up with a stellar organizational trick. Instead of attempting to herd my family, all of whom have executive function challenges, into an organized event, she invites us all to a Google calendar event that is added automatically to our personal calendars for us to fit into our schedules. It’s fast, it’s easy, and best of all, it’s 100% nag-free. My mother is a brilliant woman.

8. Have executive function

I’ve mentioned before, at length, how useful my smartwatch is to me.

9. Maintain awareness

And then of course there’s Google Drive and Documents.

10. Fall asleep

My phone’s proprietary timer app has a setting where the tone is “stop playing” which turns off any audio after a set amount of time. The podcast app has a similar function. This allows me to drift off to sleep without having to reach over to turn off my phone. So. Incredibly. Useful.

11. Stay asleep

Another function of my phone is the ability to schedule times when all noise (except alarms) is silenced. I view this as a technological boundary. Nobody has to worry about waking me up by texting me because I’ve taken care of when I need to sleep.

12. Have fun and exercise at the same time

Zombies, Run! and Pokemon GO are both apps that have motivated me to include exercise in my life. The trick of both of them is the fun factor that is always a good way to motivate ADHD to do just about anything.

13. Remind my future self

Because ADHD often has memory problems, the statement “Oh, I’ll remember that.” is almost always fallacious. One way I combat this problem is texting and emailing myself information. Or sometimes I’ll ask someone else to do it, if my phone isn’t in reach, say, because I’m driving.

14. Study

When the business my husband and I run together purchased an iPad, its purpose was to be able to display custom chainmail pieces at shows. It became invaluable to me in my studies and coaching business. Of course the use of tablets in business and education isn't new, but before the purchase I could not have predicted how helpful it would end up being.

15. Explain the inexplicable

When my parents were assisting me with renovations, sometimes it was difficult to verbally explain what I pictured being built or altered. I created a structure in Minecraft that visually depicted the shelf I was imagining and it made instant sense to my father.

16. Coach

Most of the above has been for my personal life, but technology has been useful in my coaching business in yet another way. Skype and text message have allowed me to use my skills to assist anyone, no matter their preferences, location, or travel abilities. And all of the above are just ideas I use. I can't imagine how many other brilliant ideas are out there working for other people right now.

The key to it all, of course, is balance. The fact that technology is harmful in some cases is obvious, though I would say it's not as simple as that. People, to quote tumblr, have been sitting inside, ignoring each other since we invented indoors. This, so say I, is nothing new. The distractions, the addictions, the disruptions are all things we, as individuals and as a global community, must learn to deal with. And the key is balance, and each person’s definition of that balance is as unique as they are.

What role does technology play in your life?

App Spotlight: The Rock Clock

I have quite a wide variety of interests, I always have. I know a fair amount about several subjects you might not expect. I must say, however, that wrestling was never an interest of mine. So if someone mentioned Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, I would only have known him from his acting career.

More recently, a client put me onto a very unique alarm app. The concept seemed super cool and only grew more interesting as I investigated it further. At its core The Rock Clock (iOS or Android) is an alarm or wake-up app. It has several tones to “wake my @$$ up”, including my personal favourite “THE ROAR”. It begins with the noise of a crowd, then a chant of “Get up! Get up! Get up!” Highly motivating even though I’m not a pro wrestler trying to stand up from the mat.

It also incorporates goal awareness. You enter your current goal and the app keeps it in your face as you use it. When you mark the goal as completed you hear Dwayne say “Great job.” and a message appears: “PROJECT CRUSHED”.

My favourite part of the app is the fact that it is part of a bigger project by The Rock. The example goals on the app show that not everyone's goals are fitness related. ‘Learn a new language’ and ‘Finish screenplay’ are there alongside ‘Gain a pound of muscle’.

When I visited www.projectrockofficial.com I was even more impressed. Clearly Dwayne Johnson has untold depths of character and a desire to help his fellow man I never would have discovered if I hadn't looked further than his wrestling career or celebrity status.

So now I have a new goal: challenge every assumption I have about everything. And thanks to The Rock, I am one step closer to achieving it.

14 Ways ADHD is Like a Dragon

It occurred to me recently that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder bears a strong resemblance to dragons.

1. When not well understood or respected, can cause devastating consequences. Conversely, when well understood, can be powerful ally.

Many people are unaware of their ADHD brain wiring and as such have no explanation or recourse when things seem to be falling to pieces around them. However, there are examples of people who credit their success to their ADHD. (I am one of those, even if I'm not famous... Yet. ;) This is, in my opinion, a result of a good understanding of the ways in which it manifests, acknowledging the challenges, and celebrating and nurturing the strengths.

2. It loves to steal all your gold.

ADHD brains are notoriously bad with money. We often need programs, techniques, partners, or other assistance to be able to effectively balance our finances.

3. It can be very difficult to study and tame it.

The frequent occurrences of sleep problems, comorbid conditions, and the wide variety of symptomology can obscure ADHD and its effects on our lives. Once knowledge has been gained, there is even more hard work to create and maintain tools for managing it day to day and year to year.

4. It loves to sleep for long periods of time.

Despite the 80% chance of a sleep issue, lots of ADHD folks love to sleep. It offers us a release from our sometimes crushing lives and refreshes us for another day.

5. There can be a hot temper involved.

Flash anger and other anger management issues are very common among ADHD individuals. Some of us mask it better than others, but it is very often there all the same.

6. Though on the outside it may appear to be tough, it is not so on the inside, and this can be the downfall.

The world can be unkind to us. This can cause us to present a tough, hardened face to the world. No matter how long this is maintained, however, it does not change the inner sensitivity.

7. Sometimes it can lay dormant for years, only to appear suddenly, without warning, laying waste to everything in sight.

New research has suggested that ADHD can manifest much later than previously thought. Or, if someone has had all their executive functioning taken care of by someone else, a spouse or personal assistant, and then suddenly that support is removed, their symptoms can flare up or become obvious for the first time in their lives, even in middle or later years.

8. It is possessed of an innate magic others often do not comprehend.

Not everything about ADHD is negative, despite what some would have it believed. ADHD often gives boosts to things like creativity and spontaneity. These carefree abilities may seem mystical to others.

9. There are many different kinds, each with its own unique qualities.

ADHD is currently divided into three sub-types: hyperactive (the classic, widely-known), inattentive (the dreamer), and combined-type (a combination of hyperactive and inattentive). Some experts are calling for more, as many as seven types.

10. No two examples look the same or have the same abilities and characteristics.

...and even only in the three official types, the degree and variation are such that I doubt two identical ADHD brains could be found.

11. Can be extremely self-involved and oblivious to others, crushing them under its feet.

People with ADHD are often accused of not caring about others. This is often completely untrue, but the illusion of not caring is created by the focus of the person simply being elsewhere. Our brains naturally focus on the most interesting or “stimulating” thing in our field of awareness. This does not mean everything else is unimportant, it is just how our brains are wired and it takes a colossal amount of effort to shift it to something less attention-grabbing. This is why I, and many other ADHD individuals, dislike socializing in sports bars. The TVs all around us grab our attention away from where we truly want it to be.

12. Completely rubbish at paperwork.

Paperwork is ADHD’s Kryptonite. The tedium forces our brains to use up dopamine very rapidly when we already have a limited supply and/or ability to produce, store, and use it.

13. Widely misunderstood and shrouded in mystery.

The public is frustratingly inundated with misinformation about ADHD. And gaining access to the facts, while having vastly improved in recent years, it still not nearly as easy as clickbait about the “false” disorder.

14. Often involved in epic adventures.

Novelty is one of the best possible things to offer someone with ADHD. We live for it and the buzz it gives our brains. Spur-of-the-moment road-trip? I’m down. Last-minute camping across the country? Sign me up! The stranger and more exciting the better. We don’t stop to think, we just dive right in.

ADHD and the Smartwatch

This past week I purchased a Pebble Time smartwatch for use in my business. It allows me to be notified of emails quickly so I can respond in a timely manner and have instant access to my schedule. These are the features that drew me to my first experience of wearable technology. However the more I've used it the more it is showing itself to be one of the most useful things for my ADHD I've encountered in quite a while.

There are people who look askance at anyone who uses and relies on technology heavily. Especially a young person, fearing, I assume, that it is harmful to them. Certainly modern technology has had negative impacts on people, most notably to me the disconnection instant access has caused first world societies, socially.

However, it doesn't behoove anyone to dismiss or judge how others live their lives.

While in my ADDCA coach training, the co-founder, David Giwerc, extolled the uses dictation software had and the freedom it allowed him in writing his book Permission to Proceed. He finds typing very difficult and tedious and were it not for this software, he told me and my classmates, the book would not have been written.

Similarly the reminder app Alarmed allows me to run my life and business smoothly where otherwise I would need a full-time personal assistant and/or maid. That being said, should the zombie horde rise up, my life will instantly fall to pieces. But then again, not many people need to check their email during the apocalypse so perhaps everything will even out in the end.

Another feature of the Pebble Time is the sleep and step tracking. For the first time in my life I know how far I walk in a day (and have extra encouragement to increase that distance) and how much sleep and deep sleep I get each night. Exercise and sleep are two cornerstones of ADHD management and studies have even shown that, in some cases, exercise can replace ADHD medication, without the side effects.

I've also tried the Pomodoro technique for the first time as a result of a Pebble Time app.

The absolute best ADHD management benefit though, in my opinion, is the streamlined nature of my focus. When a notification goes off on my phone, I'm tempted to open it, play a game, check Facebook, and so on. Even if I simply check email, I waste time. When a notification comes in on the watch, I can screen the importance, and avoid the temptation and distractions.

As with so many things, the key to making technology work for you is balance.